1) Staying friends with dates
2) or even your ex?
3) Also what about seeing/meeting a boy/girl that rejected you.
4) Did you end it or did they?
5) What do you say??
6) Do you still have feelings for them?
7) Can guys and girls be friends with each other? •
8) Can I maintain a friendly relationship with someone I dated?
9) What about someone I dated seriously? •
10) Making shidduchim with people you’ve dated *Make Amends* •
11) I mistreated someone who I dated.
12) Should I ask mechillah?
13) How would I even go about that?
14) I feel I deserve an explanation from someone I previously dated. Should I reach out to them?
15) The shadchan really messed things up. Should I confront them? *Friends of The Family* •
16) I was suggested to a family friend, who would be a good match, but it’s just too weird! •
17) I’m interested in my family friend. How should I, or my parents, approach the situation with the other party? *REJECTED!* •
18) I was rejected by my friend who I really like. What should I do?! •
19) Is it possible to exit the friend zone? •
20) I was rejected by a family friend, who I will definitely see again. How do I avoid the inevitable awkwardness?
Ep 33: And it was all the Parents fault.
• Using a parent as your shadchan– yay or nay?
• A mother knows best– how much should I trust my parent’s experience/advice?
• My agent will handle this– How involved should my parents be in “handling” my shidduchim? Do I have a responsibility to take part in the process?
• Parental consent– what if my parents nix a good idea for reasons that don’t actually matter to me?
• The Parent Trap– my parents are very controlling and won’t let me make my own dating decisions. How do I break free?
• One man’s treasure... My parents just don’t get me and are trying to match me with the wrong type. What should I do?
• I heard concerning things about his/her parents. Should I end it?
• Pair-rents– do both sets of parents have to be a good shidduch too?
• Mommas boy– I really like the person I’m dating, but he/she has an unhealthily close relationship with his/her parents. Is this a concern?
Ep 32: How I Met Your Shadchan
A Conversation With Shadchanit Rissel Namark.
Ep 31: The Compatibility Check
Our guest hosts, Chani and Yonah, and their featured guests discuss:
1. The great compromise- How rigid should your lifestyle expectations be? Reconciling differences in areas such as upbringing, child-rearing, food preference and money-spending.
2. Deciding you’re not compatible
• Are you being too picky?
• How to point out concerning behaviors to the shadchan
3. Personality tests/horoscopes- are they a good barometer?
• What do you do when your family/their family expresses clear distaste for the shidduch? (Elope? Break it off? Work it out?)
• What if you like them, but can’t stand their friends/family?
• What do you if a friend intervenes and says they think it’s a bad shidduch?
5. Comfort with expressing disagreement- becoming comfortable telling your date that you disagree, and being told that they disagree with you
⚡️ Lightning Round ⚡️
Ep 30: Money Talks in Shidduchim
It’s a conversation to have, money talks in Shidduchim. Spending money on dates, paying shadchanim and of course family financial means.
1) Would you date someone who’s poor? Would you date someone who’s rich? Why?
2) When you find the one, what’s the expectation in terms of engagement/wedding gift? Do you/your family intend to stick to the “rules” of who pays for what at the wedding?
3) What kind of lifestyle do you need in a spouse? Frugality vs lavishness.
4) It’s a dog eat dog world: shadchanim who are in it for the money. Do they exist? Have you experienced them?
5) At what point do you feel comfortable spending a lot of money on a date?
6) Getting married when one or both are in school
7) Are shadchanim catering to the rich?
8) Do you want to spend big on dates?
9) How to tell they are financially stable/saavy?
10) Are shadchanim catering to the rich?
11) Does it matter if she just likes you for your money
12) What happens when you forgo personality for money?
13) Is there anything wrong with filtering for a rich spouse?
Ep 29: An American Shidduch Story: Worst Dates Ever Part 2 (w/ Callers from Audience)
Do you feel like you had a "Shidduch experience from Gehenim?". In today's episode the crew and our live call in audience discuss some of their worst date experiences ever, which include:
1) The awkwardness of being set up
2) Another occupation mismatch
3) More foreign shidduch policy disaster!
4) Scary dates, just scary
5) Hikes & Yikes shidduch kind of date
6) Can worst dates turn to great dates?
7) The beltdown meltdown
8) Bayswater drinking stories
9) Unmasking the mask
10) Also Avery calls in
Ep 28: Rules of Shidduchim w/ Ahava Radio
Ariel Katz from Ahava Radio joins the OG NTS crew, yes that’s Avery, Miss D & IJ. We discuss our progress with the Shidduch podcast as well as a bunch of topic reviews, add-in, and some new stuff on the way.
1) Finding good shadchanim
2) More worst date stories
3) Awkward parent situations
4) Very bad date planning
5) What’s with the HomeDepot date?
6) What are the exact time stamps...traveling, eating..?
7) Music and dating
8) Avery unfiltered :-)
9) Miss D chats away
Ep 27: Does the Picture Really Matter?
The Shidduch Podcast crew discusses pictures, they are some daters best asset and others worst nightmare. Many times the picture depicts exactly the kind of vibe of the person and with some...it doesn’t even do it’s just.
1) Do you like using profile pictures?
2) Those who don't do photos/ Those who require photos
3) Can you Google or Insta search their pic?
4) First impressions with the photo
5) What is the source of the actual picture
6) Professional photo shoot or screen shot of their WhatsApp
7) can we actually judge off of a picture?
8) Too provocative or overthinking it?
9) What to do if you need another picture
10) If the picture is too quirky
11) Funniest and maybe sad shadchan picture experiences
12) Our new lightening round segment on the most craziest pictures our audience has gotten!
26: Dating out of the box and all of those quirky characters
IJ, Yona and Chani discuss people who totally stick out of the resume stack. They are different, loud, don’t fit the status quo and just stick out like a soar thumb. Heck they may just be you! Here are our thoughts on those characters and how to understand whether it’s a good Shidduch for you or not.
1) What exactly is someone who is out of the box?
2) Identifying if you are or aren’t
3) Are we examining the Shidduch Resume too much??
4) What is the cookie-cuter Shidduch perspective
5) Don’t worry they’re very very normal
6) Toning things down: Do you have to calm down your funkiness and quirks?
7) Purple feather in the hat / funky rainbow skirt...when can these things be unloaded!
8) Why can’t they just have a normal profile pic!!
9) I am not judging the person..I am just judging based off of what you sent via what they put out...this is real!
10) Is it being naive or innocence?
11) Things are ambiguous
12) Can we really live above what the general population does with responses?
13) I don’t date from that area (ex: 5T, Monsey, Queens)
14) I’m noticing a pattern where a person from this place/this Yeshiva/this background tends to have this character trait, even though there’s no logical reason that should be. Should I stop dating those types of people?
Ep 25: How To Tell The Shadchan They’re Just Not Up My Alley
In this episode the podcast crew examines the classic responses like: she isn’t my look, he’s not up my alley, I just don’t see it and all of the politically correct responses you’ll need when talking to the shadchan.
Remarks to the Shadchan:
1) She’s not up my alley / He’s not “my type”
2) Why can’t they just have a normal profile pic!! OR they don’t do profile pictures...do they want to get married?
3) Physical Aspects and Resume Info:
4) He’s too short / she’s not my figure type
5) Their just not my look 😏 // I just don’t find them attractive!
6) Too loud/quiet
7) Hashkafically different / Different backgrounds
8) SPECIFIC ISSUES WITH SHADCHAN: Yes your my mother’s friend but you don’t know me so stop sending me outrageous ideas!!!
9) Enough with your sons sloppy seconds!!
10) Remarks from the Shadchan: I’m sorry you don’t approve of my resume. I’ll be sure to not answer your calls anymore.
11) YESSS a coffee date won't kill me but honestly my time is money and its really just gonna be a big FAT no from me
12) Im doing this for 10 years...just trust me!
13) So should I just not say anything to the shadchan 😡 like they don’t even give a hoot at what I have to say!
14) I just got a few No’s back..so yes I will be sounding brash...if they can be picky why can’t I??
15) The parents are divorced, I have a problem with that 😕
16) AS YOU DATE THEM: Can you just tell him to stop planning our dates around Starbucks!!!
17) There are not enough positives to warrant a continuation
18) I just can’t stand them!
19) Oh, she had a great time and really wants to go out again? Wow, that’s, uh, so nice to hear... yes, yes, she’s a really nice girl, I had a nice time, I just don’t see it going anywhere...
20) No I’m not picky...gosh I have to marry this person so just lay off!!
21) Um..they smoke and drink? WTH were you thinking??
22) No I didn’t call a reference, shadchan.. I do things my way
23) So, ummm... what in particular made you think of _this_ person for me? I’m not perfect, but I’m not a train wreck either...
24) To the date: So why did you do __ exactly?
25) Um yes I have a problem with that!!!
26) I’m not judging..I’m just calling a spade a spade!